There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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