i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i will never coherently bang her
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize