Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
