There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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