Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
