cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
