shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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