Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
