And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
