We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
