Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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