I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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