I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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