They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
