He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
