is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
