after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
