Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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