I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
