if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
