Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize