It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
