Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
