Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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