i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize