Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic

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(760): View more from California

Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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(512): View more from Texas

He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.

(713): View more from Texas

Yeah you should have just let that thought go.

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(519): View more from Ontario

My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."

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(517): View more from Michigan

i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone

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