haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
