you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
