Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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