K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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