her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize