there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
