also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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