I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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