Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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