My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
