So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
