I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I smell stomach acid.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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