If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
