Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
