Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
