you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
