I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
