Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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