Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I lost the right to judge tonight
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize