I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
