Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
