check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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