We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
