your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
