Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
