Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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