Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my sisters under your porch take her home
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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