I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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