3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So here I am, sexting at work.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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