I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
