so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
