Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
