it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
