Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
