I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
