I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
