yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
