It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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