apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
