keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
