On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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