and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
