Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
