what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
vagina is talking i cant
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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